On the sixth day of Christmas, Retro gave to me…
…some videos that make me want to go the store.
Let’s be perfectly honest here: while we may love Sonic the Hedgehog and Sega as a whole, at the end of the day they are a business, which means they want to sell the public something. It certainly helps when it’s something we really, really, want, of course. And what better time is more appropriate to dwell on consumerism than Christmas? We all know that people buy the most around the holiday season, so why wouldn’t you want to try and advertise the world of Sega while visions of sugarplums dance in your head?
Unless you lived in Europe, more than likely you never got one of those bad boys under the tree. But there’s something about the look of the Master System I’ve always loved. And that white checkerboard pattern? Oh man, that is the future of gaming! Although, when you get down to it, the only Christmas part of the video is the music in the beginning, which quickly transforms into something really, really creepy. But hey, future of gaming.
Come the 90’s, though, the Master System was a thing of the past. If you were a kid who wanted something for Christmas with the Sega logo, there was only one option. The Sega Genesis. That glorious 16-bit powerhouse that offered the hottest games and made you the most popular kid in the neighborhood:
As an awkward adolescent, who wouldn’t want the one system that would make girls come to your door? Though I must admit, getting a Genesis never got me any…maybe my name had to be Matt. I still love the look of the mother’s face at the end. She better have saved some eggnog, because she’s going to need it.
But what happened once you got the system? You couldn’t just wait to have your parents buy you a new game. New titles were coming out all the time, and dropping sixty bucks on games starring Sylvester and Tweety was a luxury you couldn’t afford. That is why we had Blockbuster.
Your eyes do not deceive you. Santa Claus is playing a Sega Genesis. Though I do wonder what game he’s playing. Could it be Sonic? Could it be Bubsy? And he doesn’t even need a remote control to turn on the television! That’s magic for you.
But what about Japan, you ask?
For those not in the know, the Sega Saturn in Japan was a big deal. I’m sure plenty of Japanese children on Christmas morning couldn’t wait to get their hands on that sleek six button controller. Or even better, the 3D Control Pad, so they could play their copy of Christmas Nights. It’s a good thing the father ran off to the store right away when he realized his folly, or else he would have met…well, you know.
It is Segata Sanshiro. Nothing I can say can ever explain how awesome he is. So this Christmas, buy a Sega Saturn. Or he will come screaming back into this world, come down the chimney, and beat you senseless.
Might help if those kids had a television to go along with their game, though.